Pot Luck (contains no gamebird)

I'm going to mosh a few random unconnected items together into a sheperd's-pie of a post:

-- NBA All-Star-weekend in Houston concludes with the basketball game this evening, and the bacchanalia got so out of control around the Galleria yesterday that HPD closed several exits on the 610 Loop and likewise blocked cars from entering at-capacity parking garages until the revelers unclotted.

"The revelers" is probably an understatement. This was entourages in fleets of stretch limos gridlocking intersections at every single restaurant, club, luxury high-rise condo and entrance to Neiman Marcus.

At three o'clock in the afternoon, and lasting deep into the evening.

(In the interest of full disclosure, the two Houston Chronicle reporters on this story -- fresh off the debutante beat -- also implicate marauding President's Day shoppers in the traffic jam.)

-- Mardi Gras is a bit of a letdown this year, both in N'Awlins and in Galveston (there because of the Crescent City's downsizing, here because of unusually cold weather for February).

-- Dick Cheney's gunshot victim, upon release from the Corpus Christi hospital where he spent the past week, apologized for all the trouble he's caused the Vice President. The birdshot pellets lodged in Harry Whittington's heart and liver, each through their representatives, also issued statements of regret for the incident.

In other news, asbestosis victims offered Halliburton a heartfelt mea culpa for breathing on the job.

-- Early voting in Texas begins tomorrow and continues (almost) all the way to March 7. A spirited Democratic primary up and down ballot features several contested races, the most focus being on the two candidates for Governor, Chris Bell and Bob Gammage. Latest poll numbers here. If there happens to be a runoff -- incumbent Republican Rick MoFo'n Goodhair has a handful of erstwhile challengers, including this kook from his right (go look; he's got a picture of a bloody baby on the home page) -- then the Kinkster and Grandma (pronounced 'Gran-Maw') have to wait another thirty days before collecting signatures.

Regarding the Dems, the Chronic snorts itself awake for a moment, then rolls over and snores loudly.

-- Cindy Sheehan will have a tea party for Barbara Bush -- the GranMaw, not the hottie -- here in Houston tomorrow also.

Update (2/21): More on the Galleria shopping orgy here. Untold by the Chronic in any report were the rumors of shopping mall security squaring off on limosine drivers refusing to move, steadfastly unwilling to inconvenience their VIPs. Police had to intervene (allegedly). And Lyn has pictures of Cindty Sheehan in Babs Bush's backyard yesterday.

On replacing Cheney with Condi

I've been thinking this same thing for quite awhile now, and Burt Levine beat me to the pixels with it (FWIW, Burt is a local Republican who has the ability to find common ground with Democrats. This came in an e-mail and I may be able to add a link to the entire piece in an update) :

I suspect what they're thinking and not saying is, If Dick Cheney weren't vice president, who'd be a good vice president? They're thinking, At some time down the road we may wind up thinking about a new plan. And one night over drinks at a barbecue in McLean one top guy will turn to another top guy and say, "Under the never permeable and never porous Dome of Silence, tell me . . . wouldn't you like to replace Cheney?" Why would they be thinking about this? It's not the shooting incident itself, it's that Dick Cheney has been the administration's hate magnet for five years now. Halliburton, energy meetings, Libby, Plamegate.

...

Cheney has always said he has no aim to run. Bush may feel in time that he has reason to want to put in a new vice president in order to pick a successor who'll presumably have an edge in the primaries--he's the sitting vice president, and Republicans still respect primogeniture. They will tend to make the common-sense assumption that a man or woman who's been vice president for, say, a year and a half, is a man or woman who already knows the top job. Every president since 1960 has been a governor or vice president. Currently the Republican Governor of California is ineliigible because he is not a born American, the Republican Governor of Texas would be two Texans in a row and the Republican Governor of Florida is too liberal to win the nomination from the southern conservatives that choose the nominee and the Republican Governor of Florida would be two Bushes in a row and America is a republic, not a royalty run nation.

Anyway, the new man or woman will get a honeymoon, which means he won't be fully hated by the time the 2008 primaries begin.

This new vice president would, however, have to be very popular in the party, or the party wouldn't buy it. Replacing Cheney would be chancy. The new veep would have to get through the Senate, which has at this point at least three likely contenders for the nomination, at least two of whom who would not, presumably, be amused. The current secretary of state has succeeded through two senate confirmations already.

People wouldn't like it . . . unless they liked it. How could they be persuaded to like it?

It would have to be a man or woman wildly popular in the party and the press. And it would have to be a decision made by Dick Cheney. If he didn't want to do it he wouldn't have to. If he were pressed--Dick, we gotta pull your plug or we're going to lose in '08 and see all our efforts undone--he might make the decision himself. He'd have to step down on his own. He's just been through a trauma, and he can't be liking his job as much now as he did three years ago. No one on the downside of a second term does, hate magnet or not.

I've thought for what seems like a long time that Dick would have another heart attack -- rather than give them to his friends -- and fade to black (figuratively speaking), paving the way for The Chosen One, 2008. John McCain has been sucking up to Bush since 2004 and badly wants the Pope's blessing, but he won't get it for two reasons: One, the fundies can't abide him, and two, the governor of Arizona is a Democrat.

So my hunch is that if Condi moves up, you could see an independent McCain run for the White House in 2008 -- a scenario not altogether dissimilar from our gubernatorial contest here in Deep-In-The-Hearta this year.

No hunches from here yet on our 2008 candidate, the above scenario notwithstanding.

Update: Burt e-mails me to say that he got the idea from this RCP posting, which was inspired by the indomitable Peggy Noonan and also Tony Blankley. Burt, you gotta start hangin' out with a better crowd. And congratulations on your new gig with Councilman MJ Khan (the city of Houston's first Muslim-American council member now has a Jewish staffer. How about that.)

Six Degrees of Dick and Whit (includes LBJ and both Bushes)

NoItAll, at ITPT:

Katharine Armstrong was appointed to the TPW Board by George Bush, who appointed Dick Cheney to find him a Vice President. Katharine told Dick to go appoint himself. Bush said okay, since she owns the second or third largest private ranch in the U.S. – a ranch particulary owned by her distant cousin Rep. Kleberg, served ably by young staffer Lyndon B. Johnson, until the young LBJ got cozy with the Brown Brothers, who formed the precursor to Halliburton, which Dick Cheney ran for a while, until he appointed himself Vice President.

Today’s Austin American-Statesman quotes UT Board of Regents Chairman James Huffines, who was the Appointments Secretary during the second (Bill) Clements Administration. Who was Appointments Secretary in the first Clements Administration: Katharine’s dad Tobin Armstrong, who was married to former Ambassador to Great Britian Anne Armstrong, who was appointed by Ronald Reagan, who chose President Bush’s dad (also named George Bush) to be his Vice President.

Yet the Bush, Brown, Armstrong, and Johnson families seem to have no relation to Kevin Bacon. Unless you believe White House Press Secretary Scott McClennan’s dad’s book published last year that LBJ killed JFK – while officing in the building owned by Harry Whittington.

Cheney got a gun.

Whole world's come undone.

(Thanks to johntarheel76 in the comments at BOR for the Aerosmith riff.)

The primary wars are heating up also. Tim McCann with Chris Bell's campaign has responded to the near-constant online assault on their guy with this post on his blog. David Murff grew tired of taking potshots from Jim Henley and released this, which instantly drew more fire from Henley supporters.

Twenty-two days to Election Day, and everyone ought to buckle their chinstraps.

Update: Rico Politico went ahead and did the whole song.

The Grammys last week were great

In fact, I had something less than halfway written and then I read Bartcop's take and decided I'd crib it:

Madonna opened the show and she never disappoints. She was all legs and she looked like a teenager up there.

U2 was next with Vertigo, and they always deliver.

Mary J. Blige came out and sang One, and this time, unlike New Orleans, she was free to bust loose and give us her version of the song. Nice.

Kelly Clarkson, and then Ellen introduced Paul McCartney with "This man doesn't need an introduction..." and walked off. Paul did some boring new song, then a blistering Helter Skelter, reminding us that he didn't stab anybody.

Mariah was next, and she was the first big highlight. She sang with more grit and emotion that I've seen from her before, and at the end she went up and hit those notes in that dogs-only area. Damn, can anybody else in the building do that? I don't think so...

Keith Urban and Faith Hill had to follow that -- too bad.

Worse yet was the tribute to Sly Stone. Too many people onstage, not enough hours of rehearsal -- it was a mess. Eventually Sly came out with his white mohawk, which was stunning, but either Sly doesn't sing anymore or they had a world of microphone problems.

I was hoping for a Thankyou Falettinme Be Mice elf, but no. Sly mumbled a few lines then waved goodbye to the crowd and left. The band looked at each other with an "I don't know" look on their faces.

Springsteen did Devils & Dust, like he'd made his own deal at the Crossroads. I kept hearing Dylan -- that's a compliment, Bruce. He closed with a terse "Bring 'em home," which left the censors unprepared to cut his message of peace.

Then Kanye reminded the crowd why the word "show" is in "show business." Golddigger was Shirley the most infectious song of this past year...

Herbie and Christina did Leon, and I said to Mrs. Bart, "Christina has more torch, but Mariah more range than Montana."

Winding down, they seemed to have a Richard Pryor tribute ready to roll, but maybe they were late because they just blew right past Richard. Seems like everybody forgot Richard. SNL could hardly be bothered, Dave was too busy, Leno did 30 seconds, but I guess Richard died when people were busy with other things -- that's sad.

Then they closed with the massive jam to New Orleans and Wilson Pickett.

Still, I thought it was a night of highlights. I was surprised. So often these shows can totally suck.

I thought Christina Aguilera and Herbie Hancock were a little better than Bart thinks, but other than that he's on the money. After Paul said, "This is my first Grammy performance, and I'd like to rock a little," and they lit into Helter Skelter, I was blown. All I could think of was that the song -- together with some '60's-strength LSD -- made Charlie Manson kill people, and how that old man McCartney could still go.

And the whole Sly and the Family Stone thing was just odd.

But I've made sure to catch the Grammys for the last several years because there's always some surprises and it usually knocks your socks off. This year was no exception.

Warning: not to be taken literally

On January 31, 2006, President Bush gave his State of the Union address, and among the issues he mentioned were America's "addiction" to oil. On February 1, 2006 -- less than 24 hours later -- two administration officials, the energy secretary and the national security advisor told us this was not to be taken literally, that these words were only meant to be spoken in terms which the American People could understand. Bush didn't really mean we had to break our oil addiction. It was just an "example", they said, but what they meant was that it was a metaphor, which Merriam Webster defines as 'an elaborate or fanciful way of expressing something <"it's raining cats and dogs" is just a colorful metaphor and not a meteorological announcement> -- see CONCEIT '. So apparently it was only a figure of speech; something between truth and untruth.

This past week Bush spoke in Los Angeles -- presumably to defend his domestic spying program -- and in it he disclosed for the first time a 2002 plot to fly a plane into a building in L.A. Indeed, the president went into more detail than has ever been usual regarding threats to The Homeland, and even told how the plot was thwarted. Almost immediately, the mayor of Los Angeles responded by saying he had never heard about the plot before. Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa also said he had requested meetings with Bush in the past to discuss homeland security issues and as yet there have been no meetings. However, former administration officials said that there was no direct threat to Los Angeles -- not in 2002, and not at the present time. So was this just another example of something the President said that shouldn't be considered seriously?

We seem to be entering a new realm of administration prevarication. Previously when Bush has been questioned on the "truthfulness" of his statements, his lackeys have been quick to cover it up by saying "the President misspoke". Now the spin is "it wasn't meant to be taken literally." Just an example, random musings, presidential ramblings spoken off the cuff ...

Could this mean when Bush said Iraq had WMDs -- Rumsfeld even said he knew exactly where they were; "around Tikrit" -- that he didn't mean it literally? Was that actually just a postulate, a hypothetical scenario?

How about his statements regarding "not knowing Ken Lay or Jack Abramoff"? Did he really mean that when he said it? Or was it another statement we shouldn't take seriously?

We've been told since the 2000 campaign that Bush is a straight shooter. Over and over again, press secretary Scot McClellan has said, "The President meant it when he said ..." Is 'straight-shooter' a figure of speech? A metaphor?

Perhaps the Traditional Media should consider running a disclaimer when broadcasting a Bush speech, as a crawl beneath his picture: Warning: Not to be taken literally. Or perhaps the corporate press corps could simply ask Bush or designated spokespeople a permanent followup to every other question they ask: "Can we take that literally? Or is it just a metaphor, a figure of speech, a hypothetical scenario, random musings ... ? "

A disturbing hypothetical scenario to consider: when Bush took the oath of office and swore to defend and uphold the Constitution of the United States, did he mean it metaphorically?

Was that not to have been taken literally?