Brains and Eggs: The Art of the Diesel Funnies

Early voting begins Monday, but spooky season is under way already. I'm not counting on the treats outnumbering the tricks.

https://t.co/6CVL3P7H1J
— Vampiresangellv (@Vampiresangelnv) October 13, 2026

So! T-Piggy had a pretty rough week.

https://t.co/mg4jLhh2wD
— le Malque Guedaldoldule (@sporosbe) October 14, 2026

Then again, not as rough as Kimb Guilfoyle or K-name Zacharia.

Cartoon https://t.co/6cqwEv1uCS
— Bill Bramhall (@BillBramhall) October 13, 2026

https://t.co/zIMKoOPGu5
— le Malque Guedaldoldule (@sporosbe) October 15, 2026

Or Ken Paxton.

As President Trump weighed endorsing Ken Paxton over incumbent Sen. John Cornyn of Texas this spring, he was told that damaging revelations were likely to surface about Paxton, according to people familiar with the conversations. Trump was dismissive and said there would be more negative material about Democratic nominee James Talarico. Trump plowed ahead and endorsed the scandal-plagued Texas attorney general, helping him win the Republican-primary runoff in May. Months later, that decision is looking like Trump’s biggest gamble of the midterms. Despite efforts by Paxton to paint his opponent as a far-left zealot, Talarico consistently holds a narrow lead in polls, raising a once unthinkable possibility: A Democrat could win statewide office in Texas for the first time since 1994. Meanwhile, damaging revelations about Paxton continue to emerge. A new scene that could join the list: a previously unreported New Year’s Eve 2024 celebration where Paxton partied in Dubai with two fugitives from U.S. justice and a woman who wasn’t his wife. As fireworks exploded over the Burj Khalifa skyscraper to welcome 2025, Paxton and his girlfriend Tracy Duhon watched from a luxury high-rise balcony full of people, according to a video of the gathering viewed by The Wall Street Journal, details of which were contained in court filings and confirmed by people familiar with the matter. Read more: https://t.co/RTgNFmUuhn
— The Wall Street Journal (@WSJ) October 13, 2026

Clay Jones ties it all together.

You can bet that MAGAts will spend all of their time between now and November 3 in the sewers. Oh, who am I kidding? They'll never get out. I wish they would run into the C.H.U.D.s while they're down there.

So it looks increasingly possible with each passing day that 2026 will be a wave midterm election that turns against the GOP due to a faltering national economy (and a few other things, just not trans kids or even genocide). And all it took was ~~Israel goading us into another oil war~~ $9 diesel.

"Get a job" from retired MAGA Boomers with fat pensions just doesn't have the same insulting ring it used to. If you lose it to a child or a robot, are you still blaming Ill Eagles?

Anyway, I do hope the polls aren't whack and that T-Bitch doesn't get so scared that he surges ICE to the reduced number of polling places in your county, where you might find your voting status in suspense. If they get their sweep, we'll see what Team Donkey can do with it next year.