Sunday, February 12, 2012

Where do broken hearts go?



Where do broken hearts go?
Can they find their way home?
Back to the open arms
Of a love that's waiting there

And if somebody loves you
Won't they always love you?
I look in your eyes
And I know that you still care for me


Equally with her rendition of the National Anthem at the Super Bowl in 1991, this was my co-favorite. I hope someone will cover it at tonight's Grammys. Don't think I'll be able to keep my eyes dry, either.

Sunday Funnies

Thursday, February 09, 2012

Sexual Education 101, with Professor Louie Gohmert


Hide. the. children.

(East Texas Congressman Louie) Gohmert launched into a lecture during a meeting of the House Natural Resources committee meeting last week about the need to protect the poor caribou. But here’s the catch — the evil force against which he wants to defend the creatures is the halting of the flow of oil through the pipeline. That, he says, would be akin to throwing cold water on what sounds like a randy spring-break party happening around Alaska’s caribou population.

It seems that Gohmert is also something of an expert on animal husbandry. Here’s his theory: The caribou very much enjoy the warmth the pipeline radiates. “So when they want to go on a date, they invite each other to head over to the pipeline,” he informed his colleagues. It’s apparently the equivalent of being wined and dined. And that has resulted in a tenfold caribou population boom, he concluded.

“So my real concern now ...if oil stops running through the pipeline...do we need a study to see how adversely the caribou would be affected if that warm oil ever quit flowing?” he asked.

This week his lecture focused on human sexuality.

"The court, as I understand it today, struck down a law that said marriage is between a man and a woman. It's interesting that there are some courts in America where the judges have become so wise in their own eyes that they know better than nature or nature's God," Gohmert said on the House floor.

"Nature seemed to like the idea of an egg and a sperm coming together because of pro-creation," he continued. Drawing a parallel to Iowa Supreme Court justices who ruled in favor of same-sex marriage in 2009, he said, "Apparently they thought the sperm had far better use some other way biologically, combining it with something else."

It's still early in the semester for even a frat boy to be fantasizing about spring break, but I sure hope some of Gohmert's grad assistants are planning a field trip to Daytona Beach to arrange a laboratory demonstration for the professor of the birds and the bees in action. Call it 'continuing education'.

Until next month, somebody buy Louie a copy of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. He just might be able to figure that out by himself.

Kuff and Harold have additional course syllabus suggestions.

Update: The 'dumbest man in the history of Texas politics'. That's quite a title considering he's competing against Rick Perry, George W. Bush, John Cornyn, Greg Abbott, John Culberson, Kevin Brady, Ted Poe, Aaron Pena, Dan Patrick, Troy Fraser, and all of the rest of the Republican morons who have served, died, and gone to their great reward.

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

We are all Santorum's children now

Not talking about his poor little sick infant daughter.

Not Photoshopped.

No delegates were at stake on Tuesday night, but Rick Santorum still scored three important -- and surprisingly large -- victories in the race for the Republican presidential nomination by winning caucuses in Colorado and Minnesota and a primary in Missouri.

"Conservatism is alive and well in Missouri and Minnesota," Santorum said when he took the stage, before the Colorado results had been announced, at his victory party in St. Charles, Mo. He called his wins "a victory for the voices of our party, conservatives and tea party people, who are out there every day in the vineyards."

It's a victory also for every man and woman who opposes not just a woman's right to choose but also a woman's right to choose contraception. (Sidebar: on the same day that the head of Catholic Charities of Galveston-Houston finally resigned over the latest child molestation scandal, you have to wonder if any of those pedophile priests would have been excoriated had they used a condom.)

For the moment, contemplate Rick Santorum's conservatism and his -- and his church's -- interpretations of heterosexuality and family planning, and what their effects may ultimately be.

The absurdity of the fundamentalists' increasingly conservative position on women's rights was illustrated recently in, of all places, the Oklahoma state Senate, where one of the lonely Democrats there introduced an amendment to a fetal personhood bill that was straight out of Monthy Python.

The concept of “personhood” defines human life as beginning at the moment of conception and, in the case of Oklahoma’s pending Senate Bill 1433, says that the resulting fetus “at every stage of development (has) all the rights, privileges, and immunities available to other persons, citizens, and residents of this state.” If Senate Bill 1433 were to become law, all forms of abortion and some forms of contraception would be considered murder and therefore illegal.

Sen. (Constance) Johnson, who represents Oklahoma’s 48th District introduced an amendment to the bill mandating that the same rights and benefits be granted to spermatozoa, writing: “However, any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman’s vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child.”

This would outlaw masturbation by men, anal sex, sex with condoms, all forms of fellatio to completion, as well as numerous other acts. She later withdrew the measure, but stated that she had inserted it to highlight the absurdity and sexism inherent in the current bill.

A second legislator, Democrat Jim Wilson attempted to introduce an amendment stating that all men would be responsible for the full support and well-being of any woman carrying their child for the duration of the pregnancy, including housing, food, transportation, and all medical costs. The amendment failed.

Behold; The Meaning of Life.



I am taking a fairly tangential digression from the news of Rick Santorum's electoral wins last night -- delegate-less though they may be -- in order not to miss the point about what his, ah, resurgence (and the corresponding political fortunes of American conservative Catholics, and of American religious extremists of all faiths) means for women specifically, and all the rest of us generally.


Ultimately Santorum will fall back and give way again to Mitt Romney. He's only slightly less likely to get the nomination than Newt Gingrich, slightly more so than Ron Paul. But his bloc of Christian Soldiers will, as a result of these caucus pluralities, have significant influence in the party platform and at the national convention, and his 18th-century Opus Dei-styled opinions will continue to get a public airing. They will also exert the occasional gravitational pull on Romney. Even Ann Coulter, formerly a doomsdayer on a Romney candidacy, is busily jamming Mitt to starboard.

Center-right and far-out right are shaping up as the duopoly options in 2012.

Update: A reminder to my Catholic friends; it's not you, it's your church and its leadership.

Monday, February 06, 2012

Judge Sam Sparks, the 5th Circuit, and the Texas sonogram law

This is a somewhat remarkable rebuke by a federal judge of his peers up the food chain.

U.S. District Judge Sam Sparks declined to stop a new sonogram law from taking effect in a ruling Monday that indicates his hands were tied by an appellate court.

"There can be little doubt that (the law) is an attempt by the Texas Legislature to discourage women from exercising their constitutional rights by making it more difficult for caring and competent physicians to perform abortions," Sparks wrote in his decision.

"It appears the (three judge appellate court panel) has effectively eviscerated the protections of the First Amendment in the abortion context," and "in no other medical context does the government go so far in telling doctors what they must, and must not, do," Sparks said in the ruling.

Sparks granted a temporary restraining order last fall, which kept the law from taking effect, but three judges from the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals last month overturned Sparks, who was appointed to the federal bench by President George H.W. Bush.

I've often wondered how the ultra-right freaks on the 5th Circuit can stand to live and work in a den of hedonism like New Orleans. They must be appalled.

"It is a terrible injustice that Judge Sparks could not rule in favor of protecting the constitutional rights of Texas doctors because of the Fifth Circuit panel's decision," said Nancy Northup, president and CEO of the Center for Reproductive Rights. "We urge the full Fifth Circuit to consider Judge Sparks' sound legal analysis when reviewing our request for a new hearing."

Nice thought, but it'll never happen unless Obama gets a shot at replacing some of those folks. The Republican obstructionists in the Senate will keep doing their best to block that, too.

See what happens when you vote GOP? Or when you don't show up to vote at all?

And starring Greg Abbott as P.T. Barnum

It was fairly good fun watching the attorney general of Texas try to pull a fast one today, and getting slapped before he could draw his hand out of the cookie jar.

Earlier this afternoon, Greg Abbott proclaimed an "agreement" in the Texas redistricting saga and spoon-fed a few media outlets with the news. Except that the "deal" wasn't one because several of the various plaintiffs said 'pass', and the judges who set today as the deadline for agreeing -- or pushing farther out the primary elections -- called bullshit as well.

A federal judge ordered all sides in the Texas redistricting lawsuit to keep talking Monday, just hours after the attorney general announced a compromise plan that prompted immediate pushback from several minority groups involved in the case.

Attorney General Greg Abbott had said several minority groups agreed to a plan that would put two new congressional seats in Hispanic-dominated districts for this year's elections. But some of the groups that sued the state, alleging the GOP-controlled Legislature drafted redistricting maps that were discriminatory, scoffed at the new plan and said it diluted the voice of minority voters in some parts of the state.

Judge Orlando Garcia noted that Monday was the deadline for all sides to agree.

"The parties should continue their negotiations to the extent possible, but all deadlines remain in place until the Court is notified that an agreement has been reached," Garcia said in the court order.

Garcia and two other San Antonio-based federal judges are hearing the lawsuit. The judges said that if all sides couldn't draft compromise maps by Monday, then the April 3 primary would likely be delayed.

In other words, Greg Abbott is his usual sorry ass lying bastard self, everyone in Texas (and quite a few people in Washington DC) know it, and nothing much has really changed with regard to the clusterfuck that is Texas redistricting.

Any questions? Juanita Jean can answer them.

Update: Greg goes deep into the cartography, Charles burrows into the spreadsheets, the Corpus Caller nails it, and the Associated Press gets most everything comically wrong in this piece.

Super Hangover Wrangle

The Texas Progressive Alliance waited into Sunday morning for election returns from Nevada (they can count cards 24-7 in Vegas but they can't count ballots?!), slept late, woke up in time for the Super Bowl party, and thought Madge delivered one of the better halftime shows it has seen in recent years. Here's this week's roundup.

Texas gets a C on its science curriculum standards, despite the worst efforts of the wingnut faction on the State Board of Education. Off the Kuff has the details.

Anonymous blogging is First Amendment-protected speech, as most of us (but not some conservative bloggers) knew three years ago. PDiddie at Brains and Eggs documents the establishment of the legal precedent.

BossKitty at TruthHugger wants you to ask your presidential candidate about America's water safety. The 35-year-old federal law regulating tap water is so out of date that everyone who unable to afford expensive purification devices is at risk.

WCNews at Eye On Williamson posts on the struggle Texas teachers and schools are having because of the billions the legislature cut from public education last year: Texas teachers and schools need our help.

CouldBeTrue of South Texas Chisme wants you to know that Planned Parenthood, unions, and the Girl Scouts aren't the only institutions the republicans are trying to kill.

At TexasKaos, Libby Shaw nails the Komen Foundation flap and sees its parallels in Texas. Give it a read: The Republican Jihad On Women.

Blogging on protests at home and abroad, Neil at Texas Liberal posted about a website hosting conference calls for Occupy participants across the nation, and also made a post with a number of links to learn more about events in Syria.

Sunday, February 05, 2012

Three hours? Seemed like three years.

Or maybe it was three 'seasons'. But those three movies were the worst.


The Harlem Globetrotters?!

The relevance of Nevada

Less than zero, but if you turn on your teevee this morning -- and not to watch any of the eight hours of Super Bowl pre-game -- you'll get a different version.

  • Mormons outnumbered evangelical voters: 26 percent of the Nevada caucus-goers were Mormon compared to just 23 percent who said they were evangelical Christians. Only New Hampshire had a lower-percentage of evangelical voters, at 22 percent. Even so, Romney carried evangelicals here with 48 percent; the best he's done in any state thus far.
  • Very low turn-out: With Romney all but assured a win here, Nevada GOPers weren't exactly inspired to get out to vote. In 2008, just 45,000 Republicans caucused. This year, it looks like even fewer will vote. Given the dismal showing, it's going to be very hard for Nevada to justify its early state status in 2016. As the New York Time's @natesilver tweeted: "new rule: if you don't turn enough people out to fill state's largest football stadium, you lose early voting status."

Look at the Google link to the election returns. At the time of this posting Clark County, with 50+% of the state's vote, still has not fully reported.

Ron Paul won Esmeralda County by a vote of 20 to 19 over Mitt Romney. Less than 60 people caucused in the entire county. Meanwhile, Ron Paul is apparently now running for Treasury secretary in a Romney administration (but will probaby have to settle for a speech in prime time at the convention ... right after his wacko son). Gary Johnson is a better fit for the Libertarians anyway.

This may be a fine way for the freak right wing of the Republican party to pick a nominee, but not for anybody else.

Sunday Super Bowl Funnies

“Newt may be toast already. The Republican establishment have the knives out for him. Tom DeLay said Newt Gingrich was the most despicable human being he has seen since shaving this morning.” -- Bill Maher

Thursday, February 02, 2012

Anonymous blogging is First Amendment protected speech -- as we knew all along

You may recall the case of the blogger/PI who sued two bloggers in Beaumont because they made fun of him, sucking Google (as blogger.com) and others into his vindictive legal wrath.

He lost at the Texas Supreme Court, and now he has lost again. First, from the Southeast Texas Record:

On Monday a local judge denied Philip Klein's petition to take the depositions of Google and Beaumont attorney Brent Coon, effectively ending the political commentator's three-year crusade to unmask two area bloggers.

Through his companies, Klein filed the petition against the Operation Kleinwatch and Sam the Eagle blogs, as well as Google and its subsidiary, blogger.com, on Aug. 26, 2009, in Jefferson County District Court.

Klein alleged Operation Kleinwatch and Sam the Eagle engaged in a pattern of libel and defamation, invasion of privacy and use of copyrighted images.

In his petitions, Klein claimed the bloggers defamed him by posting a parody of Dog Fancy magazine in which he was depicted under the caption, "Fat Men Who Love Their Dogs Too Much."

Nonetheless, on Jan. 30 Judge Donald Floyd, 172nd District Court, denied Klein's verified third amended petition, ending his efforts to investigate claims.

"This ruling reaffirms the important principle that disgruntled public figures may not abuse pre-suit discovery to ferret out personal information about the people who criticize them," said Jeffrey L. Dorrell, a Houston attorney who defended the bloggers, in a press release.

And from said press release:

Ending almost three years of litigation, Judge Donald Floyd of the 172nd District Court in Jefferson County on January 30, 2012, entered a final order denying Beaumont private investigator and local media personality Philip R. Klein’s request to take presuit depositions of Internet search giant Google, prominent local attorney Brent Coon, and others to discover the identity of two anonymous bloggers. The bloggers publish satirical parody and other biting criticism directed at Klein on blogs known as “Operation Kleinwatch” and “Sam The Eagle.”

Here's the response from OK:

After repeated attempts by our attorneys and much foot-dragging by Philip R. Klein and his attorney, John S. Morton, Esq., an evidentiary hearing was held on Jan. 17, in which PRK introduced NO evidence to support his claims that we invaded his privacy, stole his copyrighted work, inflicted emotional duress on him and his family, or defamed him.

We did, however, admit that we posted a parody of a dog magazine with Philip on the front cover - the title of the article: "Fat Men Who Love Their Dogs Too Much," as a parody of this piece from MSNBC. Draw your own conclusions, but according to Philip's arguments, he apparently believes we exposed his penchant for dating farm animals.



Here's the response from Sam The Eagle:

On January 30, 2012, over two and a half years since Sillip instigated his Philly lawsuit, Judge Donald Floyd struck down all of Philip's allegations, denied all of Philip Klein's requests, and confirmed that Philip Klein was the biggest blowhard liar in Southeast Texas.

Klein's blog is the Southeast Texas Political Review, a badly written, poorly sourced ultraconservative freak show covering the Golden Triangle. Klein is also a private investigator, which means he knows lots of crooked attorneys who pay him for various shovelfuls of dirt he is able to unearth.

I would post his response to his losing his case yet again, but it's already been removed.

Philip Klein, quite simply, is a moron. To be both candid and a little cruel, he's just another one of those conservatives of low intelligence you may have read about recently. And there are plenty of lawyers -- even in places like Beaumont, Port Arthur, and Orange -- willing to take his money to watch him demonstrate it.

The importance of this case (to those of us who blog) as precedent really can't be overstated. I do not blog anonymously, of course; and no one who does should have any fear of legal retribution from someone who wishes to out them just because they don't like what they wrote. Sarcasm -- even excessive sarcasm -- as political insult goes at least as far back as 1800 ... in the battle for the presidency between John Adams and Thomas Jefferson. Amazingly, FOX News found the archival videotape of the 19th-century political ads and here it is:



I sure do miss hearing the phrase "hideous hermaphroditical character" tossed around at the Republican debates. Don't you?

Things like First Amendment rights to free speech are usually obvious to every honest and decent American, but rarely are to TeaBaggers with brains too thick and skin too thin.

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

April 3rd unified primary hits the circular file

DBN:

The D.C. District Court three judge panel entered a order in the preclearance case telling parties that they should not expect a ruling for at least 30 days:

The Court directs the parties to comply fully with the page limits and briefing schedule set in this matter so that it can be timely resolved and also notifies the parties that this Court does not anticipate issuing any order within the next 30 days.

A number of participants in the case had been expecting the court to rule by February 15 and some had felt that a ruling might even be possible next week.

This afternoon, in light of today's D.C. Court advisory telling the state and plaintiffs in the preclearance case that they should not expect a ruling for at least 30 days, the Texas Democratic Party (TDP) filed an advisory with the San Antonio District Court, that has jurisdiction over interim district maps and the primary election schedule, saying it no long believed a unified primary was still possible on any date in April, absent a near term settlement between the state and plaintiffs in the interim redistricting case before the San Antonio District Court.

And that settlement is on ice, as we learned this past Monday.

So the Republicans will likely hold their presidential hag beauty contest on the April 3rd date; the rest of the Republicans and Democrats will wait until April, perhaps, for court decisions, with primaries not until the end of May or June. There might still be some short filing deadlines if the San Antonio court releases maps by February 6, but with the DC court's pronouncement they are not likely to feel any deadline heat to do so.

Meh. At least the pressure's off.

Update: Michael Li, as always.

(Thursday) morning, the San Antonio court entered an scheduling order, directing briefing by February 10 at 6 p.m. on a number of issues related to interim maps and setting a hearing/status conference for February 15 at 8 a.m. (so much for Valentine’s Day for lovelorn lawyers).

The court’s order is here.

The issues the court asked to be addressed include:
  • how the county line rule should be applied in interim maps,
  • the applicable law on coalition and crossover districts and how it should be applied for purposes of interim maps,
  • whether the court has the authority to waive preclearance requirements for new precinct boundaries
The court also asked that the parties submit propped findings of fact and conclusions of law by February 10.  The court’s order said that it was not announcing an election schedule at this time.