Irony so rich it makes Bob Perry look like a pauper

Yes, it's Debbie Riddle again.

A proposed immigration law being cast in jest across the country as a way for Texans to rid the work force of illegal immigrants while protecting their low-paid nannies and gardeners drew serious concern Thursday from advocates who fear the bill could have a chilling effect across the state.

Rep. Debbie Riddle's House Bill 1202 calls for two years in jail and up to $10,000 fines for people who "intentionally, knowingly, or recklessly" hire unauthorized immigrants. Specifically exempted: Laborers relegated to "work to be performed exclusively or primarily at a single-family residence."

Hereafter known as the 'laundry loophole'.

Riddle is already nationally renowned for her idiocy. She made a fool of herself on Anderson Cooper's program last year when she was unable to defend her premise that Middle Eastern parents were flying to the US to give birth, thus creating citizens who would then be indoctrinated in terrorism, i.e. "terror babies" -- an illogical extension of the already-terrifying-to-conservatives 'anchor baby'. You may also recall she was previously known as "Pit-of-Hell" Riddle for saying this.

Debbie "Laundry Loophole" Riddle. Debbie "Terror Babies" Riddle. Debbie "Pit-of-Hell" Riddle. That's a lot of nicknames to have earned in a short time.

And these are just the things she says in public. Anyway ...

Riddle, a Tomball Republican, said she didn't expect some of the national reaction to the legislation.

"I'm not very politically correct most of the time. I'm not too good at it," she said. "What I'm trying to do is inject common sense into government. I'm finding out that's not too easy."

In an ideal world, Riddle said no one would hire illegal immigrants. But she said she included the exception because homeowners don't have access to E-verify, the federal Internet-based system that allows businesses to determine the eligibility of their employees to work in the United States.

"The reason that we have, in my opinion, so many folks coming over here illegally is because businesses sort of put a big ol' bowl of candy in the middle of the room and say 'If you can get across the border and through the door then you've got plenty of candy, a job, entitlements, and if you bear children they'll be citizens,' " she said. "What we need to do is remove the big bowl of candy. It's unfair to the taxpayers of Texas to carry the burden."

No more candy for you, Ill Eagles. You've been freeloading far too long. How dare you try to escape grinding poverty and/or murder at the hands of the drug cartels for the chance to die in the desert, or in a crammed tractor trailer, in exchange for the privilege of earning ten dollars a day washing dishes or mowing yards?

Which points out that one of those jobs will be legal if Debbie gets her bill passed.

Doesn't she realize that all of the cooks and busboys are going to quit their jobs and hire on as day laborers and lawn maintenance workers and nannies? Who's going to make the enchiladas? Our favorite restaurants will all be closing because they won't be able to afford to pay minimum wage to the staff they will have to replace.

"House Bill 1202 has just really created an uproar in our community," said Laura Murillo, president of the Houston Hispanic Chamber of Commerce. Riddle "makes an exception for those that might clean her own house or take care of her children. If you can't read between those lines, I don't know what lines you can read between."

Murillo called the bill inhumane and other advocates suggested that it could have serious civil rights ramifications for people of all races and immigration statuses.

"It has an element of 'as long as you know your place,' " said Clarissa Martinez De Castro, director of immigration for the National Council of La Raza.

But remember, conservatives aren't taking this action out of hate-filled anger or even bigotry. They understand exactly what the noble representative is doing.

Staunch conservatives said they wish individuals had access to E-verify so that the exception for domestic workers wasn't needed.

"It's too bad she made that exception," said Paul Smith, vice president of the Tomball Tea Party. "But I'm for it. I think illegal aliens are doing a tremendous damage to our country."

See? Makes perfect sense to a Tea Bagger.

But there's the simple solution right there: make E-Verify available to the public. Everyone who hires a guy in front of Home Depot, or a lady to clean their house can quickly and easily check their citizenship beforehand. That's the ticket.

For that matter maybe we should just round up all the Ill Eagles and use them to build the wall at the Rio Grande. For nothing, of course. They've been compensated enough already, right?

Update: John Coby links to Rachel Maddow and Wayne Slater, and the TexTrib adds this:

Dallas County Sheriff Lupe Valdez said that if additional legislation proposed by Riddle and her colleagues to round up the undocumented in Texas passed, it would put between 4,000 to 20,000 additional inmates in her jail, carrying an additional cost of more than $1.2 million.

El Paso County Sheriff Richard Wiles, one of the most outspoken opponents of the myriad immigration-related bills this session, said Riddle’s bill could drain his coffers and max out the capacity of his jail. He said more of his jail's spots would be taken up by state inmates — meaning he'd have to forgo the more lucrative federal detainees that help keep his budget in the black.

Koch Brothers poised to win if Keystone XL pipeline approved

If this story is new to you, then please read my previous post about the Keystone XL pipeline here. The following is from De Smog Blog, emphasis theirs.

The Keystone XL pipeline, currently awaiting a thumbs up or down on a presidential permit, has been the subject of ferocious debate.  While proponents tout the pipeline project as a boon to national security, and a move that would reduce America's dependence on "unethical oil", its opponents are fearful of the environmental nightmare it would create (to say nothing of the imminent threat of future devastating spills like last year's Michigan Kalamazoo spill).  The pipeline, if built, would increase significantly the import of dirty tar sands bitumen from Canada's oil sands to the U.S. by as much as 510,000 barrels a day.

What's been left out of the fierce debate over the pipeline, according to SolveClimate News, is the prospect that if President Obama okayed the Keystone XL pipeline, he would be handing a major victory and great financial opportunity to Charles and David Koch, his staunchest political enemies and the most powerful opponents of his clean economy agenda.

SolveClimate's analysis shows that Koch Industries is already responsible for close to 25 percent of the tar sands crude that is imported into the United States, and is well-positioned to cash in big from increased Canadian tar sands imports.

Proponents argue that Keystone is the "American" thing to do: it puts national security interests at the fore, and moves the United States away from reliance on foreign oil.  As it turns out, the project is nothing more than a vote for corporate muscle and power.  It hands two of the worst polluters in the country, both hell-bent on derailing a clean energy future, an all-access pass to grow their personal business fortune at the expense of the environment, the country and the planet.

More from Solve Climate News ...

A Koch Industries operation in Calgary, Alberta, called Flint Hills Resources Canada LP, supplies about 250,000 barrels of tar sands oil a day to a heavy oil refinery in Minnesota, also owned by the Koch brothers.

Flint Hills Resources Canada also operates a crude oil terminal in Hardisty, Alberta, the starting point of the proposed Keystone XL pipeline.

The company's website says it is "among Canada's largest crude oil purchasers, shippers and exporters." Koch Industries also owns Koch Exploration Canada, L.P., an oil sands-focused exploration company also based in Calgary that acquires, develops and trades petroleum properties.

David and Charles Koch have their fingers in every single pie lately: the Wisconsin union bust out, the corrupting of Supreme Court Justices Scalia and Thomas, and the funding of climate change skepticism at their wholly-owned subsidiary Americans for Prosperity as well as the conservative think tank Cato Institute, to name just a few. They have also been the primary source of funding for the Tea Party movement. The New Yorker's article is a good primer for understanding the nefarious reach of the Koch's tentacles.

Last month it was revealed that Koch Industries had exceeded even Exxon Mobil in campaign contributions to members of the House Energy and Commerce Committee. The committee, you may be aware, has EPA in its crosshairs, and just this week 4 Democrats joined the Republicans to block the EPA's efforts to curtail greenhouse gas emissions.

Keystone XL's fate, however, lies solely with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. She stated in October of last year that she is "inclined to support" it and "probably not" willing to reconsider, but has signaled some reservations -- perhaps doubt, even -- as recently as this week.

Now is the time for you to make your opinion heard. Unless I am mistaken, Secretary Clinton is in the process of making her decision even as I write this, even as you read it.

Go now please, and tell her what you think.

Jane Russell 1921 - 2011

Jane Russell, whose voluptuous good looks won the attention of millionaire Howard Hughes and launched her on a movie career, died Monday of respiratory failure at her home in Santa Maria, California. She was 89.

Generally cast in fluff films like 1943’s The Outlaw that showed off her well-endowed beauty, Russell reached the pinnacle of her career with Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953), starring in the comedy with Marilyn Monroe.

Although best known for her figure, Russell showed a comic sensibility in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes and again with Gentlemen Marry Brunettes (1955) and The Revolt of Mamie Stover (1956). Nevertheless, most of her movie roles were designed around her towering physicality and frontal amplitude.

"Frontal amplitude". Have to remember to use that one in conversation soon.

During the 1970s, Russell was widely recognized as the spokesperson for Playtex bras, appearing in national TV commercials for the “Cross Your Heart” bra campaign.

That's how I remember her; with that tape measure worn as a bandolier on those old teevee commercials.

She lived the would-be-starlet's dream: discovered by a famous director at the dentist's office, used what she had (which, depending on your POV, was either not very much or a whole helluva lot) to get ahead in show business, and always let the men know she was in on the joke -- which was on them.

Rest in peace, Ms. Russell.

Rick Perry annexes Juarez

He may have thought this was the same thing as seceding. I'm just surprised he didn't claim that he meant "North" America.

It seems Texas isn’t big enough for Rick Perry.

During a sit down with reporters on Monday, the Texas governor incorrectly identified Juarez — located across the Rio Grande, and border, from El Paso — as “the most dangerous city in America.”

The misstatement came in the middle of an impassioned assault on the administration’s record of enforcing the border.

“How many more American citizens are going to have to die?” Perry asked.

The border state governor then turned to the chaos created by Mexico’s drug wars.

“There have been 34,000 Mexicans killed directly attributable to the drug wars. It is a very dangerous place,” he said.

Perry then pointed out that “Juarez is reported to be the most dangerous city in America.”

After an aide informed the governor of his mistake, Perry clarified that Juarez indeed belongs to Mexico, not Texas.

This is why he blocks reporters from following him on Twitter -- because his Tweets are even more ignorant than this, and he knows it. Is there a word that goes beyond 'embarrassed' -- the way that Texans feel about their governor, and what their governor is incapable of feeling for himself?