Sunday, July 15, 2007

Sunday Funnies (late edition)







Another letter to to the president (sic)

With the help of the ACLU, I wrote the following letter to to Bush this past week:

The Senate Judiciary Committee has asked you nine times to tell them the full truth about the domestic spying program. Now they have issued subpoenas demanding the legal justification behind the program.

You should comply with the subpoenas.

They are not asking for sensitive operational details about the program. All the Senate Judiciary Committee wants to know is your legal rationale for spying on Americans without warrants.

As a taxpayer and a voter, I want to know if my government is spying on me without a warrant, and I want to know your legal justification for ordering spying without warrants on any American.

This program has been in the media since 2005. We know you have the documents, and we know the program exists because you publicly admitted it. It's time for you to release these documents to the public.

I am proud to be an American. I love my country, and I believe we can be both safe and free. But only if everyone follows the law, including you.


What I didn't include in this letter -- what I was thinking as I wrote it, was:

What I would really like to see is a well-organized group of proud American patriots drag your sorry ass -- and Dick Cheney's and Karl Rove's, too -- out of the White House and hanged upside down from the flagpoles, like Mussolini in 1945. That or maybe just a plain old firing squad against the wall of the West Wing's brand-new pressroom.

But I'll settle for your compliance with the subpoenas.


But I didn't write that; I only thought it.

Sunday Funnies (early edition)